Thursday, 28 May 2009
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Monday, 18 May 2009
The Haircut
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asks for his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service this week.' The florist is pleased and leaves the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again says, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'
Then a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The MP is very pleased and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again says, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'
Then a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The MP is very pleased and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.
Friday, 15 May 2009
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Caught Sleeping At The Office? Excuses Here.
So what do you do when your boss walks in and catches you asleep at your desk? You could freak out and get fired, or rattle off some really good excuses. The top 10 best things to say when getting caught asleep are:
10) ”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
9) ”This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.”
”Whew! Guess I left the top off the Wite-Out. You probably got here just in time!”
7) ”I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.”
6) ”I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.”
5) ”I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stess. Do you discriminate toward people who practice Yoga?”
4) ”Dang! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
3) ”The coffee machine is broken…”
2) ”Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot…”
1) ”…..in Jesus’ name, Amen.”
10) ”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
9) ”This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.”
”Whew! Guess I left the top off the Wite-Out. You probably got here just in time!”
7) ”I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.”
6) ”I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.”
5) ”I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stess. Do you discriminate toward people who practice Yoga?”
4) ”Dang! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
3) ”The coffee machine is broken…”
2) ”Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot…”
1) ”…..in Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Friday, 8 May 2009
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
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