THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN WITH UNDERGROUND CAMERAS, OF 2 AFRICAN MINERS TRAPPED, WAITING TO BE RESCUED.
REALLY HEARTWRENCHING STUFF. PLEASE DO NOT LOOK AT PHOTO IF YOU ARE A SENSITIVE VIEWER
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
African Miners Trapped Underground....amazing pic
READ FIRST, THEN LOOK AT PICTURE ATTACHED!
THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN WITH UNDERGROUND CAMERAS, OF 2 AFRICAN MINERS TRAPPED, WAITING TO BE RESCUED.
THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN WITH UNDERGROUND CAMERAS, OF 2 AFRICAN MINERS TRAPPED, WAITING TO BE RESCUED.
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
The End is Near
A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"
They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.
"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"
They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.
"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"
Speaker's Ballot Paper
carefully prepared by the House of Commons Authorities
Here
Try to encircle the cat . . . not easy!!
Here
Anyway - do your kids spend all their time texting, messaging, twittering?
Here
Paddy: "What you got in da sack, Mick?"
Mick: "Ducks"
Paddy: "If I guess how many, can I have one?"
Mick: "Better than that, you can have 'em both"
Paddy "Seven?"
Paddy: "Would you like to buy my dog?"
Mick : "What kind is it?"
Paddy: "It's a Dalmatian."
Mick : "Is it clean?"
Paddy: "Spotless."
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay on-board.
With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
Q. Why don't black people go on cruises?
A. They aren't falling for that one again.
The other day I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is
engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+
years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our
men by wearing a black leather bra & bodice, stiletto heels and a
mask over just our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange
notes. Here's how it all went:
My engaged friend:
The other night my boyfriend came over and found me wearing a black
leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.'
Then we made love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a
raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had
wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black
stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in
the door and saw me he said...
"What's for dinner, Batman?"
A man from Essex parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes
speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming
off. More than a little distraught, he grabs his mobile and
calls the police.
Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance
to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche,
my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the
panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!'
After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in
disgust. 'I can't believe how materialistic you bloody essex boys are,' he
says. 'You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice
anything else in your life.'
'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' sobs the Porsche
owner.
The policeman replies, 'Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn
off when the truck hit you.'
The Essex boy looks down in horror. 'F***ING HELL!' he
screams... 'Where's my Rolex?'
carefully prepared by the House of Commons Authorities
Here
Try to encircle the cat . . . not easy!!
Here
Anyway - do your kids spend all their time texting, messaging, twittering?
Here
Paddy: "What you got in da sack, Mick?"
Mick: "Ducks"
Paddy: "If I guess how many, can I have one?"
Mick: "Better than that, you can have 'em both"
Paddy "Seven?"
Paddy: "Would you like to buy my dog?"
Mick : "What kind is it?"
Paddy: "It's a Dalmatian."
Mick : "Is it clean?"
Paddy: "Spotless."
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay on-board.
With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
Q. Why don't black people go on cruises?
A. They aren't falling for that one again.
The other day I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is
engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+
years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our
men by wearing a black leather bra & bodice, stiletto heels and a
mask over just our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange
notes. Here's how it all went:
My engaged friend:
The other night my boyfriend came over and found me wearing a black
leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.'
Then we made love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a
raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had
wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black
stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in
the door and saw me he said...
"What's for dinner, Batman?"
A man from Essex parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes
speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming
off. More than a little distraught, he grabs his mobile and
calls the police.
Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance
to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche,
my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the
panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!'
After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in
disgust. 'I can't believe how materialistic you bloody essex boys are,' he
says. 'You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice
anything else in your life.'
'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' sobs the Porsche
owner.
The policeman replies, 'Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn
off when the truck hit you.'
The Essex boy looks down in horror. 'F***ING HELL!' he
screams... 'Where's my Rolex?'
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Monday, 15 June 2009
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Spots Photograph of the Year 2009
Surely a winner of best photograph of Sports Illustrated 2009
advertising behind him.....
Friday, 5 June 2009
Ikea to make cars...
IKEA to take over General Motors ...
IKEA HAS ANNOUNCED IT'S INTENTION TO TAKE OVER GM, AND TO SELL CARS.
IKEA HAS ANNOUNCED IT'S INTENTION TO TAKE OVER GM, AND TO SELL CARS.
WE ARE IN DEEP, DEEP TROUBLE....ever tried to assemble an Ikea wardrobe?
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Monday, 1 June 2009
Treating a BLACK EYE
For years the conventional wisdom has been that the best treatment for a black eye is to put a piece of cold, raw meat on it.
While the raw meat helps reduce the swelling and aids in the healing process, using a cold steak actually delays the recovery
of broken blood vessels that cause the black and blue marks around the eyes.
Studies have shown that application of warm meat is the most effective in helping the eyes to recover from the damage.
While the raw meat helps reduce the swelling and aids in the healing process, using a cold steak actually delays the recovery
of broken blood vessels that cause the black and blue marks around the eyes.
Studies have shown that application of warm meat is the most effective in helping the eyes to recover from the damage.
See treatment below!
Sweet!!
Outside Bristol Zoo there is a car park for 150 cars and 8 coaches.
There also used to be a very pleasant parking attendant at the Bristol Zoo with a ticket machine charging cars £1 and coaches £5.
This parking attendant worked there for all of 25 years , then one day just Didn't turn up for work...
"Ho hum", said Bristol Zoo Management - "better phone up the City Council
And get them to send a new parking attendant" ......
"Err no", said the Council, "that car park is your responsibility" ...
"Err no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn't he?" .....
"Err NO!"
Sitting in his villa in Spain is a bloke who had been taking daily the car Park fees amounting to an estimated £400 per day at Bristol Zoo for the last
25 years.
YES, I've done the sums = 3,650,000 Pounds
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)