Q. What kind of can is made almost entirely of fat?
A. An American
This sums up the difference in expectations between men and women quite nicely:
Better than Heathrow...
Pre- flight safe briefing
One of the passengers on the Hudson River plane crash obviously hadn't!
The best commercial
A video that was submitted in a contest by a 20 year old. The contest was Titled "u @ 50". This video won second place. (it should have won FIRST place) When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so clever. Take a minute and watch it.
In this era of political correctness, you really have to watch what you say.
I was in New York on holiday a few weeks ago, when some black dude approached me and asked
"Hey man, did the Yankees win?" I said "Yes, you're free!"
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said 'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we have heard that people in Abu Dhabi Do"
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what the problem is.
"Well" said Eric. "I ran afoul on one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."
"What kind of question?" asked Tom.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old fat and wrinkly."
"That's easy" said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"
"Yeah" said Eric. "That's what I did; except I said, 'Of course I do'."