I Have been away for the last two weeks, but I did hear about Gary Glitter getting a date for his prison release.She's only eight but, with a little make-up, she'll pass for twelve easily.
Who says China isn't ready for Olympic tourists?
A collection of funny 'Engrish' signs.
George Bush spoke out against the invasion of Georgia today saying: "Russia has invaded a sovereign state...such an action is not acceptable in the 21st century."Who said Americans can't do irony?
Well, it finally happened . . .I've sent so many e-mails that my cursor overheated.
Check it out for yourself. This is what happens when you overuse your mouse.
A look inside the Fosters factory: http://snipurl.com/fosters
The National Eczema Association are currently fundraising. They've just launched a scratch card.
A old sailor on the dockside met a lady of the night! she asked him if he wanted a good time ,yes he said, of they went to her place within minutes he was having the time of his life ,
How am I doing my dear?
She replies your doing three knots
What do you mean he replies ?
Your not hard
Your not in and
Your not getting your money back
In the bunker....
Another take on the old sketch.
Is the new Batman movie cursed? Consider the evidence:1. Heath Ledger died from an overdose earlier this year.2. Christian Bale was arrested a few weeks ago.3. Morgan Freeman was in a serious car crash today.4. I'm planning to kidnap Maggie Gyllenhaal next weekend and keep her in my cellar as a sex slave for the rest of her natural life.Spooky, eh?
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response,'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
Overheard at the gynaecologists surgery."Hello Mrs Ellis, I have some great news for you!"It's Miss Ellis, not Mrs.!""In that case, Miss Ellis, I have some bad news for you!"
Archaelogists have just found an ancient book that had been lost for years in Donegal.It's called 'Irish Country Dancing part 2, What to do with your arms.'