Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Thought these were fun - click the photos to see famous buildings switch off their lights for Earth Hour last weekend : HERE

Bad Morning

Great Trick for April Fools Day, or any day
Instructions here:

and the test video itself here:

419 Scammer Honesty..Toptastic

Sterile man pays neighbour to impregnate wife . . . but man fails after 72 attempts!

This is brilliant.

A woman arrived at a dinner party and while scanning the guests,
spotted an attractive man standing alone.

She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen."

"That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?"

"No," she said. "Actually I gave it to myself. It represents the
things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore, I chose
'Carmen'. What's your name?"

After a brief, thoughtful moment, he responded "B.J. Titsengolf!"

There have been so many entries for the X Factor this year, the show had to separate them into 3 categories:

Bullied Children
Dead Dads
And Teenage Mums

Life before the computer

* Memory was something that you lost with age
* An application was for employment
* A program was a TV show
* A cursor used profanity
* A keyboard was a piano
* A web was a spider's home
* A virus was the flu
* A CD was a bank account
* A hard drive was a long trip on the road
* A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
* And if you had a 3.5 inch floppy you just hoped nobody found out...

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure because...

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood."

The second one says, "I'll have one, too."

The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma."

The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"

I never have understood swiss army knives, they suggest to me that the Swiss are at war with corks.