FW: Roundup!!!!

8 inches of snow URL

http://tweetphoto.com/8271174

(might offend some)

 

 

 

 

Girls are dime a dozen but an icecream…

http://data.dump.iof.ru/data/2009_09_07_09_27_romario_nm_ru_sva_177.jpg

 

 

 

The count of eggie christo

http://data.dump.iof.ru/data/2009_09_14_11_58_www_inpic_ru_pic_3552_a7747c10.jpg

 

 

 

 

New way of doing captcha codes

http://data.dump.iof.ru/data/2009_10_05_11_52_4_bp_blogspot_com__F4yinVt5IS8_R4vY9AEi60I_AAAAAAAACm0_h5HJJRTW7co_s1600_h_funny_captcha_12.jpg

 

 

One place to avoid then

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYeSO6wWo6c96kUTg5adRH5wQ9eLVfqUkOUDh9qyZkgVSvS8jM1rmM0XcOvsLW8GW3xYStmJO6IwNDiTTj92FO7gx12WQPTeIVW5t2WAohKIH7Eqv020iBWK0elnY5RfpHnBA1SKlgTrje/s400/Vo7f3_Irony_at_its_best-s580x434-31649-580.jpg

 

 

 

 

Found on a bulletin board thread:

 

"Ok here's what you do for real. Get minesweeper, play it exactly 33 times then wait 5 seconds. Ok, then you'll hear an inaudible tone, then wait 5 seconds. Now, play minesweeper 6 more times and it will happen."

 

 

 

 

Sung to 'Send In the Clowns' from A Little Night Music.

 

(Apologies to Sondheim, who won't see this anyway).

 

SEND IN THE PLOWS

 

Isn't it white? Isn't it flat?

The street is somewhere over there, beneath all of that.'Send in the plows'.

 

Don't we get weird, cooped up all day?

Regress 'til we're bored all day, Go out and play!!

But where are the plows? 'Send in the plows'.

 

Just when I'd dug out to the cars,

Finally brushing them off to see which one was ours,

Tried the ignition again, even got it to run, Another foot fell,

Back to square one.

 

I don't mean to bitch, or be unkind.

But cross-country skiers on motorways are out of their minds!

Call for the plows. How can they plow a street they can't find?

 

Isn't it white? Isn't it bleak?

Home on the computer today, one more net-geek.

And where are the plows? There ought to be plows,

'send in the plows'.

 

Well, maybe next week??.         

 

 

Hi, I'm from the Government. If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see the solutions.

 

 

 

This maths test can predict your all time most watched film, mine was Saving Private Ryan.  Try it without looking at the answers.  It works! 
  
  
Pick a number from 1 - 9. 
  
Multiply by 3. 
  
Add 3, then multiply by 3 again. 
  
You will get your answer by adding the  two digits together to find your all time favourite movie. 
 
Good Luck 
  

 

It is: 
  
1.   Gone with the wind. 
  
2.   Aliens. 
  
3.   Oliver 
  
4.   Star Wars 
  
5.   Forrest Gump. 
  
6.   Saving Private Ryan. 
  
7.   Jaws. 
  
8.   Grease. 
  
9.   The joy of Anal Sex with male goats & leather clad rent boys. 
  
10.   Mary Poppins.

 

 

 

How come, when my wife says "we need to talk," it's never about football?

 

 

 

 

#

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Sun Creative Group Limited. Registered in England Company Number: 5050538
Registered Address: 138 Walton Road, East Molesey, Surrey KT8 0HP

FW: Why men don't write advice columns......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

__._,_.___
FFFFFFFFF
FF#

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FFFFFFF
FF
FF
FF

UU     UU
UU     UU
UU     UU  & Fun Only - A Group For Friends !!!!!
UU     UU
   UUUU

NN      NN
NN N   NN
NN  N  NN
NN   N NN
NN      NN

.

 

 

Sun Creative Group Limited. Registered in England Company Number: 5050538
Registered Address: 138 Walton Road, East Molesey, Surrey KT8 0HP

FW: Roundup!!!!

 

8 inches of snow URL

http://tweetphoto.com/8271174

(might offend some)

 

 

 

 

Girls are dime a dozen but an icecream…

http://data.dump.iof.ru/data/2009_09_07_09_27_romario_nm_ru_sva_177.jpg

 

 

 

The count of eggie christo

http://data.dump.iof.ru/data/2009_09_14_11_58_www_inpic_ru_pic_3552_a7747c10.jpg

 

 

 

 

New way of doing captcha codes

http://data.dump.iof.ru/data/2009_10_05_11_52_4_bp_blogspot_com__F4yinVt5IS8_R4vY9AEi60I_AAAAAAAACm0_h5HJJRTW7co_s1600_h_funny_captcha_12.jpg

 

 

One place to avoid then

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYeSO6wWo6c96kUTg5adRH5wQ9eLVfqUkOUDh9qyZkgVSvS8jM1rmM0XcOvsLW8GW3xYStmJO6IwNDiTTj92FO7gx12WQPTeIVW5t2WAohKIH7Eqv020iBWK0elnY5RfpHnBA1SKlgTrje/s400/Vo7f3_Irony_at_its_best-s580x434-31649-580.jpg

 

 

 

 

Found on a bulletin board thread:

 

"Ok here's what you do for real. Get minesweeper, play it exactly 33 times then wait 5 seconds. Ok, then you'll hear an inaudible tone, then wait 5 seconds. Now, play minesweeper 6 more times and it will happen."

 

 

 

 

Sung to 'Send In the Clowns' from A Little Night Music.

 

(Apologies to Sondheim, who won't see this anyway).

 

SEND IN THE PLOWS

 

Isn't it white? Isn't it flat?

The street is somewhere over there, beneath all of that.'Send in the plows'.

 

Don't we get weird, cooped up all day?

Regress 'til we're bored all day, Go out and play!!

But where are the plows? 'Send in the plows'.

 

Just when I'd dug out to the cars,

Finally brushing them off to see which one was ours,

Tried the ignition again, even got it to run, Another foot fell,

Back to square one.

 

I don't mean to bitch, or be unkind.

But cross-country skiers on motorways are out of their minds!

Call for the plows. How can they plow a street they can't find?

 

Isn't it white? Isn't it bleak?

Home on the computer today, one more net-geek.

And where are the plows? There ought to be plows,

'send in the plows'.

 

Well, maybe next week??.         

 

 

Hi, I'm from the Government. If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see the solutions.

 

 

 

This maths test can predict your all time most watched film, mine was Saving Private Ryan.  Try it without looking at the answers.  It works! 
  
  
Pick a number from 1 - 9. 
  
Multiply by 3. 
  
Add 3, then multiply by 3 again. 
  
You will get your answer by adding the  two digits together to find your all time favourite movie. 
 
Good Luck 
  

 

It is: 
  
1.   Gone with the wind. 
  
2.   Aliens. 
  
3.   Oliver 
  
4.   Star Wars 
  
5.   Forrest Gump. 
  
6.   Saving Private Ryan. 
  
7.   Jaws. 
  
8.   Grease. 
  
9.   The joy of Anal Sex with male goats & leather clad rent boys. 
  
10.   Mary Poppins.

 

 

 

How come, when my wife says "we need to talk," it's never about football?

 

 

 

 

#

Roundup!!!

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SUBSCRIBE

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Save trees - Eat a beaver.

 

Sun Creative Group Limited. Registered in England Company Number: 5050538
Registered Address: 138 Walton Road, East Molesey, Surrey KT8 0HP

Global reaction to terrorist threat

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."  Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."  The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.  Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."  The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

 

The Scots raised their threat level from "pi**ed Off" to "Let's get the barstewards"

They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line in the British army for the last 300 years.

 

 

 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide".  The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."  The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

 

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert, Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

 

 

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher

levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

 

 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.

These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

 

 

Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

 

 

 

And in the southern hemisphere... New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!".  Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "sh*t, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate".  Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled".

So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

 

 

#

Sun Creative Group Limited. Registered in England Company Number: 5050538
Registered Address: 138 Walton Road, East Molesey, Surrey KT8 0HP

Oh well I'm still snowed in, but to some peoples credit they will try to get to the office in their iced up car, but often this can be very frustrating and a time consuming experience. (As this office worker found out to add to his woes).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVIabdmN4ns


Picture posed by model
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/01/06/warrant-issued-for-arrest-of-man-accused-of-having-sex-with-a-donkey-115875-21947163/
Just incase any reader thought the photo of the donkey was actually of the very same donkey in the article...




Anatidaephobia . Google it (work safe). And if you don't laugh - I give up!!

Then

It’s true, and also.. Great advert placement
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1249339/anatidaephobia_the_fear_that_you_are.html?cat=70
I hope none was fooled by the vowel change in the author's name. They're EVERYWHERE I tell you...

Ironic: Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words
Then why has Lisp got an “S” in it?


Fathers Day at the Skywalker residence
http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs225.snc1/7222_156470442912_711292912_2720320_55218_n.jpg


Paignton Ice Skating for Cars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MPRmOUxRMY
Our car is sliding out of control on ice. I know, we'll bail out. D'oh!






I received a letter this morning giving me the results of my medical. It said "I regret to inform you that you have dyslexia and you're impotent".
Well, it's a shame about the dyslexia but I already knew I was impotent; I'm the CEO of a multinational company and an advisor to the government.




1. A man dashes into the A&E dept. and yells . . . 'My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi'.

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , St.. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow


2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,'. I instructed.

'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient..

Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes , St.Thomas's Bath


3 One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.


4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
'Which one ?'. . .. I asked.

'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!'

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions includes removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk General


5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered .'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent


6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . ...' So how was your breakfast this morning?'

'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste.'. . Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labelled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon . Bristol Infirmary.


7. A nurse was on duty in the A&E when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for an immediate operation..
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .'Keep off the grass'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which read 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by Staff Nurse RN Elaine Fogerty , KGH London

Dr. wouldn't submit his name

Airport Security!

The Rake
http://www.smwa.net/downloads/funny/rake_bush4.swf


Eckie-Gnumph
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/8439446.stm
And he looks soooo normal….


Avatar, have we not seen this before perchance?
http://www.shof.msrcsites.co.uk/ava.jpg


The greatest thing about Celebrity Big Brother is when the celeb's first enter the house, walk down the stairs and they look at themselves in the mirror to their left and ask themselves, "What the hell happened to my career?"


I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.......... 1024×768


After being made redundant I retrained to become a Police Officer.
Well it beats walking the streets everyday!!




Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in
front of him; the other a Star of David. Many people pass by and look at both
beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the
beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.

Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says,
"My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country, this city is
the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there
with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a
beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of
spite."

The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned to the
beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the
Goldstein brothers about marketing."



A girl texted me saying what does idk,ly &ttyl mean? So I said ' I don’t know, love you, talk to you later' And she said "Okay I'll ask someone else"




A guy goes into the confessional box.

He finds on one wall a small bar with Guinness on tap.

On the other wall is a box of the finest Cuban cigars.

On the seat is the latest Hustler Magazine.

Finally, the priest comes in.

"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to

confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more

inviting these days."

The priest replies, "Get out. You're in my side."