Wednesday, 6 January 2010

The Rake

And he looks soooo normal….

Avatar, have we not seen this before perchance?

The greatest thing about Celebrity Big Brother is when the celeb's first enter the house, walk down the stairs and they look at themselves in the mirror to their left and ask themselves, "What the hell happened to my career?"

I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.......... 1024×768

After being made redundant I retrained to become a Police Officer.
Well it beats walking the streets everyday!!

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in
front of him; the other a Star of David. Many people pass by and look at both
beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the
beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.

Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says,
"My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country, this city is
the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there
with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a
beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of

The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned to the
beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the
Goldstein brothers about marketing."

A girl texted me saying what does idk,ly &ttyl mean? So I said ' I don’t know, love you, talk to you later' And she said "Okay I'll ask someone else"

A guy goes into the confessional box.

He finds on one wall a small bar with Guinness on tap.

On the other wall is a box of the finest Cuban cigars.

On the seat is the latest Hustler Magazine.

Finally, the priest comes in.

"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to

confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more

inviting these days."

The priest replies, "Get out. You're in my side."